


the man who heaven forgot

by somecrappyusername



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, make of that what you will, some sad shit man, takes place after trial two, this was all inspired by the song 'mama' by mcr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:48:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27521041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somecrappyusername/pseuds/somecrappyusername
Summary: only some regrets have the privilege of being resolved. that is what hell is-- a person's own self-made torture.
Relationships: Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo
Comments: 11
Kudos: 56





	the man who heaven forgot

Mondo Owada doesn't know how many days it's been.

He doesn't know where he is, either.

Mondo Owada doesn't know what happened between the moment his body began to disintegrate in the Cage of Death and this moment right now.

It's empty here. Quiet. Almost peaceful, but not quite.

After a few moments, a bright light flashes, blinding him. He's in a box. It's dark, smelly, and cramped. A bit hot, too. And still, there is no one here. But at least there's sound.

From outside this box, Mondo hears a familiar voice. _Chihiro._ He feels his heart (or lack thereof) fall and shatter, slowly, painfully.

"Mondo." Chihiro's voice is solid for the first time since they'd met. Since they'd met? No, that wasn't right. Mondo remembered now-- two years they'd all spent together, how those memories were stolen from them, how they'd all been best of friends for _two whole years_ before Junko… he shuddered. Something pricked behind his eyes, threatening to send tears flooding down his face.

"Chihiro, I--" he choked out before the box dissipated, revealing Chihiro's still-bloody face. "Oh, god, what the _fuck_ have I done? Chihiro… I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I--"

"I know." Mondo froze. Those were the last words he had expected to hear. "I know, Mondo. I heard it all. I understand." No. No no no no no nonononononoNO. Chihiro _smiled,_ damnit, and Mondo knew what was coming. "I forgive you, Mondo. That's why you're here."

"No. No, no, Chihiro… _fuck,_ you can't just…" Chihiro didn't stop smiling. The blood began to fade.

"You're not in heaven. But you're not in the worst part of this place, either. Somewhere stuck between limbo and hell, but in any case, it's better than Hope's Peak." Chihiro gestured behind Mondo. "You can watch over everyone from here." A spectral sort of screen appeared, showing everyone at the school, still standing by the cage. Chihiro put a small hand on Mondo's shoulder. The tears that had stayed put until that point made their traitorous way down Mondo's face

"But… why are you here? Shouldn't you be up there, among the… you know, angels n shit?" he said between sobs.

"I'm headed there soon. Everyone comes here first. You'll get to leave and join me soon… but even though I vouched for you, I still think you'll have some time to make up before you can follow me." Mondo collapsed. He couldn't believe it-- he _wouldn't._ He refused. He didn't deserve heaven and he CERTAINLY didn't deserve whatever good words Chihiro had put in for him.

"You shouldn't have done that." Chihiro just hugged him.

"You're better than you think you are." The two stared into each other's eyes for a moment. Chihiro began to fade. "Murder is what it is. But I know you, and I know that you deserve to be happy, too. We're always going to be friends. Find me as soon as you can, please." Chihiro waved. It was only a matter of moments before… "I'll be waiting for you, and for everyone else. Goodbye for now, Mondo." 

Chihiro faded completely, and a note fluttered to the ground in the space vacated. 

"Chihiro Fujisaki has ascended."

And with that, Mondo was alone again. From his spot on the ground, he held himself in a tight embrace and screamed out into the universe everything he'd tried to keep hidden, from himself and from the others. It felt like an eternity before he was able to succumb to the silence again.

Well, it was silent until Mondo realized that his screams were not the only ones. From the screen behind him, someone else was crying out. 

Mondo forced himself off the hot ground beneath him and looked for the first time at the screen. The screams belonged to Taka. It was nighttime. Everyone was alone in their rooms, trying to sleep. Try as he might to muffle them, Mondo could still hear loud and clear. 

_God,_ he thought, _Even in death I can't stop hurting the people I care about, huh._ He'd run out of tears to cry. He hated himself for it-- Taka deserved that much. Slowly, Mondo reached out a hand towards the screen. 

"I… I'm so sorry, Taka." The other boy's heart-rending sobs slowed and faded into soft, quiet tears. Mondo heard him mutter something. One little word.

"...Why?" And Mondo's already shattered heart turned to dust. 

"I don't know," he found himself saying out loud. "I didn't have a reason. I'm not… I don't think things out like you do. I'm impulsive and rash and I break things and this once, it happened to be our friend." The space behind Mondo's sternum felt empty. There was nothing left.

"Why you?" Taka's voice rose again, just a bit louder. "We were supposed to be… bros. We would have been...." Taka's voice trailed off. There was something left unsaid at the end of that thought.

Mondo couldn't even answer for that one to himself. Even after everything, Taka still… Mondo shook his head. Not now. Not ever. Not the way he'd started to think he wanted. 

Eventually, Taka fell asleep, but the frown on his face never went away. The tears on his cheeks dried there. The marks weren't going anywhere.

* * *

Mondo watched over Taka as he refused to eat. He watched Taka cry himself to sleep every night, wishing for another outcome to the trial. Mondo watched the others, too, but none of them took it quite as hard as Taka. He watched all of them return to the quiet unrest that they'd grown used to after Leon's execution.

Every night, though, Taka would lay on his bed. He'd talk, as if Mondo was there. As if he knew that Mondo could hear him. Sometimes it'd be little things about his day. Most often, though, it was whatever he couldn't tell everyone else.

"I refuse to believe that you could do such a thing. You were an upstanding man, Mondo. Maybe not up to the standard of a perfectly moral student, but to expect perfection from everyone is to set oneself up for disappointment." Taka took a deep breath. "Maybe that's why… Maybe that's the reason that I still find myself upset by this." Mondo had known that he'd disappointed Taka. That was one of his biggest regrets. 

"Take it easy on yourself, bro. It's not your fault." Mondo always responded to Taka. He knew he couldn't hear, but it was better than doing nothing.

"You were the first person I could call my friend." Mondo froze. "I mean… everyone else here is my friend too. But you were somehow different." Taka smiled, ever so slightly, just a tiny, tiny bit. 

"Come on, man… don't do this." Mondo's pleas fell on no one's ears at all.

"I hope you can hear me, my friend. I want to tell you that I think what I feel-- felt. Was more than friendship, but I can't be sure, because I have no evidence to prove something like that." Taka was crying now, full-on sobs racking his body. "I will never know."

It was a long time before Mondo could think of something to say. How does one justify that to themselves when they don't deserve to hear it? 

"No, no no no stop it, man… not me. Anyone but me." That would do for now. Even if Taka could hear him, Mondo wasn't sure he'd have said it loud enough for anyone but himself. Taka had fallen asleep anyway, leaving Mondo to deal with what had been said on his own.

Those were the words that the self-indulgent part of him had wanted to hear. The part of him that had never given in to despair, had stayed afloat, kept him going, propped up the cocky facade. That side of him wanted to respond with something closer to _yes, I understand, I hear you, I see you, I love you, I love you, I love you._ But Taka could do better. There was someone better out there, they weren't hard to find. Someone who wouldn't kill another person in a jealous rage, especially not twice.

From that point on, Taka became more and more certain. He made sure to whisper every night the same thing like a prayer, like a lifeline he clung to. 

"I could have loved you, Mondo Owada. I would have, if I'd had the chance."

It's worse than the Cage of Death. It's worse than anything waiting for him in the deeper layers of the afterlife. Mondo wondered sometimes if Chihiro had put less than kind words in for him, rather than a testimony to Mondo's character.

And Mondo knew he didn't have the right to say anything, much less this, but he always responded with "I would have loved you too." He always omitted the second half of the sentence, "but not like you deserved." He didn't want to cheapen it. Mondo knew that Taka couldn't hear him, but it felt… wrong nonetheless.

* * *

Mondo knew it would happen eventually. That Taka would succumb and kill someone, or-- god forbid-- be killed by someone else. That didn't make it less shocking when it finally happened.

Celeste's claims were ridiculous, but still Hifumi believed her. _Idiot,_ Mondo thought, _as if Ishimaru would ever even consider such a thing._ He watched as they crafted a plan, watched as Celeste tricked Hifumi into playing along with the very plan that would kill Taka and himself.

Mondo braced himself for what followed. It didn't make it any easier. He tried not to watch, but he couldn't let Taka die like that. Unwitnessed. Alone.

It was a while before anyone found him. They were all running around like chickens with their heads cut off, _damnit,_ Taka was _right there, someone find him, help him, deliver justice, please!_

Another trial. Mondo stared for a moment at his own portrait, between Kyoko and Hina. He could've been there. He could've done something to stop this. Instead, a lifeless photo of himself stared back at him. 

Then something Chihiro had said rang in Mondo's ears.

"Everyone comes here first."

_Taka._

Mondo stood up and looked around wildly. He was here somewhere, he had to be… Mondo could apologize. He could say everything that he needed to… He could _see Taka again._ His bro. His… 

For all the time Mondo had spent watching over the students of Hope's Peak, he hadn't seen a single other soul. No leader, no demons, nothing. Just a patch of ground that was always hot to the touch, and the screen. Nowhere else to go. Nothing as far as the eye could see. So if Taka really were here… Mondo would know.

A smoky shadow appeared suddenly in the corner of his eye.

"Taka?" Mondo called out to it, but it dissipated just as quickly as it had appeared, leaving something to drop onto the ground. A note, not unlike the one that was left behind when Chihiro… oh no. Mondo picked it up off the ground. It read: 

"Kiyotaka Ishimaru has ascended."

No. No no no no no this couldn't be happening. Taka was supposed to be here, he was supposed to arrive, all smiles and laughter and tears, and Mondo was supposed to get a chance to tell him everything he'd said when Taka couldn't hear. That was how it was supposed to work.

They were supposed to have a moment together again, just one little moment, before Taka inevitably ascended, but Mondo was supposed to first get a chance to say "wait for me, I'm right behind you, I won't leave you again." Mondo was never supposed to be the one left behind.

And maybe it was a little selfish, a little undeserved-- but Mondo was supposed to get a chance to tell Taka that he loved him. Taka was supposed to finally hear someone say it. He deserved that much. Why whisk him away to a place that's supposed to be pure bliss if he can't even have that?

Mondo was unbelievably angry, but this time, it wasn't for himself. 

Taka was supposed to get a chance to know what love felt like, even if it was only the terrible version of it that Mondo could provide.

But. There's always a but.

There'd be no chance for that. Mondo would stay where he was and rot until he could ascend. By then, Taka would forget.

Such is the way of the game, I suppose. If you have hope, you have an opportunity to despair. In the end, you can't win the killing game, not even by dying, for those who participate are bound to suffer wounds that time's gracious hand refuses to heal. 

Such is the fate of Mondo Owada, the man who heaven forgot.

**Author's Note:**

> i hated writing this as much as you hated reading it. feel free to air your grievances with me in the comments, and thank you for reading!


End file.
